So one of the biggest things I get asked by people is, can you mentor me? And it’ll be as innocent as someone coming up to me after I’ve spoken at an event asking have I got time, can I take you for a cup of coffee?
The reality of my life is that I can’t do one-to-one mentoring with people in this way. However, it doesn’t mean that you can’t still use me as a business mentor, which is a big part of what this series is all about.
So let’s talk about mentoring.
I believe that there are two types of mentors, there are those who know that they are mentoring you and thre are those who have no idea that they are mentoring you.
Here are some examples of how I have used mentors. I have been very lucky to have been mentored by a number of the different dragons over my lifetime. Uncle Touker, as I always like to refer to him, has been a fantastic mentor to me over my time on Dragons’ Den.
Touker was the first person I met from the Den and it was because I actually did my screen test with him so on that really scary first day, he was the one person I recognised. I went up to Touker and I said ‘I’m really nervous about the situation, this is all quite new for me I wondered if you would mentor me through the process’. Now this happens a lot, people ask about mentoring but what’s a little bit different is I showed him what that would look like and I was specific in what I asked.
So, every time we came out of a pitch, we would go into the green room. I said to Touker, ‘if I stick the kettle on and make you a cup of tea, would you walk me through where you think I went really well in that pitch and where I could have done a little bit better?’ I gave him permission to give me feedback and critical feedback, which is really difficult to give people. And, true to his word, after the first few pitches, I would come in, stick the kettle on, and he would give me feedback and this is what helped me to really adapt and become better as a dragon.
When you’re asking someone to mentor you, I think it’s really important that you find somebody who has the time and the capacity.
Touker is a very busy man, however I was willing to fit around his life. Asking him to give me feedback in between pitches worked because he only used that time to check emails, have a cup of tea or catch up with people so this way I was making the ‘ask’ easier for him.
Secondly, I created an opportunity for Touker to be able to give feedback in a way that wasn’t difficult. Could you imagine if when Steven started in the Den a few years later, we came out after the first pitch and I said, ‘hey mate, stick the kettle on and make us a cuppa, I’m going to tell you where I think you went wrong in that pitch’. You just wouldn’t dream of doing that! Yet that’s exactly what Toukerwas doing because I’d created the environment for him to be able to do that.
So that’s my experience of mentoring with people one-to-one where they do have the time.
The other type of mentoring that I’ve had experience of is when people have no idea that they are even mentoring you.
I always joke that Duncan Bannatyne (who I’ve never met) mentored me all the way through my 20s. And that’s because I remember buying Duncan’s book when he was a Dragon back when I was first starting out in business.
I read all of the dragons’ autobiographies but Duncan’s in particular really resonated with me and really stuck with me. I read his book and I imagined myself being on that journey with him so much so that I’ve often tried to channel my inner Duncan at times! I would think ‘if I was talking with Duncan about my business, what would he say here’ because I got to know him through that process of reading his book and I really felt like he was a mentor to me.
I’ve used this concept of ‘invisible mentoring’ throughout my whole career. I did a lot of work on TV shopping when I was starting out in business and I used to watch the other shopping channels with presenters who were top of their game, the absolute creme de la creme of delivering TV shopping content. I used to study what they did and really try and learn from them and that in itself is a form of mentoring.
You might follow people that you admire on LinkedIn or on YouTube and you might find the advice that you are adapting or interpreting the advice that they are giving you that you’re adapting and using this in your own life. This is a form of mentoring. Just you watching these videos and learning from my advice is me mentoring you, but in a way that I’m able to do so!
I can’t make the time to sit down with each and every one of you one-to-one and have a cup of coffee, but what I can do is do this and help you on that business journey.
So those are the two types of mentoring. You can go and find all of your ‘invisible mentors’ right now. In terms of advice for finding a real life mentor, try and find someone that you can approach who is at a place in their life that they can fit you into their life.
My dad is a brilliant mentor for a couple of business people and my dad is in a place to do that because he’s retired and he’s got lots of time. People will go to his house to have a cup of coffee and sit and chat with him for a few hours. He’s got the time to do that and he’s got the skills to still be able to mentor people in his career.
You’re going to be far more lucky and realistic getting time from my dad these days than you would be from asking me to mentor you! So when you are choosing a mentor, pick someone who is really able to offer you that advice, mentoring and support and who can take the time for you and it will really make a difference. So off you go, get yourself loads of invisible mentors, find yourself a great mentor you can work with now and best of luck as you embark on your mentoring journey!