Now, it doesn’t matter if you are just starting a business or if you’ve been running one for over 30 years. The truth is some days just feel harder than others.
So the big question is, how do you stay motivated when you’re having one of those days and you’re in a bit of a funk?
I’ve talked before about how important it is to surround yourself with positive people and avoid the energy vampires but sometimes, despite the fact that you’ve created a positive environment, business and life in general can just feel a bit overwhelming.
So, how can you protect yourself from these lows and also pick yourself up when you’re in one of them?
Well, today I’m going to talk to you about self-talk. Self-talk is a little voice in your head that follows you around wherever you go. And I’m not going mad when I say that I’m hearing voices. We all do it, right? It’s that voice where when you’re watching TV, you’ll be using that voice in your head to discuss what you’re seeing. Chances are you’re probably your own little Goggle Box, right?
For example, have you ever found yourself driving to work and running through the upcoming day? Yeah? Well, that’s completely normal. Again, it’s that voice in your head that’s having the conversation with you.
Now, if you don’t believe me, try saying the alphabet from A to Z in your head. Can you do it? Of course you can, because you’ve all had that voice in your head that means you don’t have to speak out loud to be able to have a conversation.
Right, so now that we know we’ve got this little voice in our heads and we know that it’s completely normal, I want you to think about the kind of conversations that you’re gonna have with yourself. Are they all positive? Or do some of them run over things that are sometimes a bit negative?
Let me give you an example. Have you ever left the house in the morning after some crossed words with your kids or your partner? And, have you found yourself running over some of the things that were said on the drive to work? Yes?
We’ve all done it but how does replaying those difficult conversations make you feel? Do they cheer you up? Not usually, not in my case. In fact, replaying an argument can put you into an even filthier mood as you rake over who said what, what should and shouldn’t have been said.
In that situation, replaying those conversations, using the voice in your head is not helping, right?
Now, compare and contrast. You’ve just had a business and the client loves your products, they’ve just placed a massive order. In fact, it’s the biggest order in the history of your company. You jump in the car knowing that you’ve just secured six months worth of work and promises of loads more to come. Then you find yourself replaying the conversation.
You hear the customer’s voice as they confirm, yes, we’re going ahead. You drive back to the office, you can feel a smile spreading across your face. Feels good now, doesn’t it? Yeah, absolutely it does.
Now in both examples, you’ve been listening to your internal dialogue, that voice in your head, but the way the voice makes you feel now couldn’t be more different and here’s the important thing. You control the voice. You have the ability to control what’s being replayed in the conversations and ask yourself, why am I replaying a conversation that makes me feel bad when I could be focusing on things that make me feel good?
I know sometimes it feels like you’re not in control of the voice in your head and it feels like someone else is deciding what it’s saying and you guessed it, if that voice is laden with negativity, it can feel really crushing. But, you can make that voice in your head your greatest ally instead of your most potent detractor.
So, here are five steps to help you take control of the internal conversations.
Step one is to become conscious of the internal dialogue.
You’ll be surprised just how much talking it does. It can be almost like a relentless backtrack to your day.
Step two, now that you’re aware of the internal dialogue, decide whether what it’s saying is helping or hurting.
In other words, is it helping you to achieve more or is it limiting you to less?
Step three, if that voice is negative, turn it down.
Make the conscious decision that what you are thinking and saying really isn’t helping you achieve what you want.
So say to yourself, that’s not helping. I’m not going to think about that right now. Right?
Step four, when that voice is positive, listen to it. Make it louder, encourage it to speak and take its advice.
Bathe in the positivity and let that private smile spread across your face and crack on with your plans.
Then step five, fill your head with positive imagery and conversations.
Have you ever seen a high jumper on the runway preparing to jump, right? Watch them and you can see them mentally imagining the jump. They bob their head as they take those imaginary strides before they’re launching over the bar in a successful clearance, they can see it.
The internal conversation, the internal imagery are all consciously positive. Wouldn’t it be crazy for them to stand there running through the jump and imagine that they’d crashed into the barren field? Of course it would. So use your internal dialogue to paint positive outcomes.
Imagine how it’s going to feel having made the sales, completed the presentation, hit the target, and you’ll feel that positive energy and it’ll begin to flow through you.
When I’m having a bit of a tough time, I take the time to really become aware of what my internal dialogue is saying and more often than not, it’s trying to make a bad situation even worse, sabotaging my thoughts and draining my energy. So I consciously take control of it and you can do that too.
Shut down the stuff that’s hurting, dial up the stuff that will be helping. I remind myself of what I’ve achieved in the past and I visualise what success is gonna look like.
Now the good news is, the more that you practise this conscious control of that internal voice, the better you are gonna get at it. It’s like a muscle you’re working, right?
So there you go – internal dialogue, the voice in your head and how you make it work for you.
Oh, and if you’re thinking this might be useful, then guess what? You’re already using that little voice in your head, right?
See you next Thursday for a little bit more!